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The alternative Christmas letter

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Rudolf,
Ma man, how are you? It’s been a while, hope things are well at the North Pole with the big man. How are you getting on with the gang? I know they’d been playing a few tricks on you last time we spoke. Your nose is why you are so famous, they’re just jealous! From what I can remember from our younger days, the nose always went down well with the doe’s!
I was just dropping you a line to ask you for some flying tips? I have been in the quarry and on Aloft! flapping my legs around like a mad deer but just keep falling on my face! We’ve got this sweet new zip line here (you can go up 30mph on it!) and have even tried it out to give me some momentum but I just end up in the trees, in a heap on the floor (it’s not much fun mate!). The wife thinks it is hilarious but she is just as useless at it (bloody doe’s).
I was also hoping to ask a favour mate? Could you put in a good word for me with the big man? I have pulled together a list of things which would be sweet if you could add to the sleigh:
• A self balancing hover board (have you seen these? They’re sweet!)

hoverboard

• Action Glen hoody (Fuel is shot up here so the wife has it on timer for when she is home, never mind about me!)
• Genesis mountain bike – It’s great in the snow – you should check it out!

bike
• Golf ball finding glasses – My game is getting better but I am still no Rory McIllroy

glasses
• I –tracer  (finds your keys, car and take a selfie) – It’s for the wife, she is constantly losing things – it will save me getting my head nipped (a bit)!

i tracer

We’ve recently moved into a new pad in the quarry, our address is:
Glen’s house
Quarry
Action Glen
Crieff
There’ll be a few light refreshments with your name on them on Christmas eve!

Hope you have a good flight and you don’t encounter too much turbulence. Tell the big man I say hello (make sure he doesn’t work you too hard!).
Pop in and see us in the new year sometime when you are off, doors always open mate.

Cheers
Glen

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